I can't
by fuzzi fox
Summary: SPOILERS FOR MATRIX REVOLUTIONS! Summary inside I dont want to give anything away to those who havent seen the movie PG13 jsut in case sort of mature theme
1. Neo's POV

WARNING: CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR REVOLUTIONS AND A BIT FROM RELOADED!!!!  
  
Summary: Neo's POV after the crash of the Logos. I had some stuff in italics but no matter what I did they wouldn't come out -.- well I hope you like!!! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I placed my hand to my head and called out her name, to make sure that she was all right after the crash.  
  
"Trin?" I said calmly at first. But upon hearing no response I became choked with fear.  
  
"Trinity?" I cried out more frantically stumbling with the strap that held me to the seat. "Trinity!" I shouted once more finally freeing myself from the seat.  
  
"I'm here" Her soft familiar voice called. She sounded a bit weak, and I figured the crash might have shaken her up a bit. I got onto my hands and knees and felt around on the floor blindly searching for her.  
  
"Where?" I asked.  
  
"Here." She replied softly. Why doesn't she come to me? I wondered to myself. I felt her hand and clutched it tightly in mine, as I looked around at the brilliant beauty of the machine city that seemed to be made of light. I hadn't noticed it while looking for Trinity, but I only wished that I were able to see Trinity's face.  
  
"We made it." I said to her, relieved that we were both still alive.  
  
"You said we would." She replied, but I noticed a strange tone in her voice that worried me.  
"It's so beautiful, Trin. Lights everywhere. Like the whole thing was built with light. I wish you could see what I see." I said looking about me. I couldn't understand how I was able to see the city; I had been blinded when my eyes were burned.  
  
"You've already shown me so much." She said, in that tone that I was not accustomed to.  
  
"What is it Trinity? What's wrong?" I asked squeezing her hand tighter as my heart began to race. Oh God please don't let her be hurt was all that ran through my mind.  
  
"I can't come with you Neo. I thought that I could but I can't" She replied her voice growing weaker.  
"Why?" I asked as my free hand moved through the air blindly searching around for what would be troubling her. My heart stopped and all the blood rushed to my head as my hand fell upon a rod of cold metal. Oh God no! Please no! I thought as a lump rose in my throat. My hand moved down the rod and met Trinity's abdomen, her pull over damp with blood.  
  
"Oh no. . . Oh no. . .no. . . no!" I said, my mind fogging over as I placed my hand on Trinity's cheek, finding it instantly. I couldn't bear the thought of losing her, it tore me apart. I longed to hold her close, listen to her soft heartbeat and kiss her softly.  
  
"It's alright. It's time. I've done all that I could do. Now you have to do the rest. You have to finish it, you have to save Zion." She said. I ran my thumb across her face, not daring to move my hand; knowing deep down it was the last time I would feel the warmth of her skin touching mine. I could feel her grip on my hand weakening, and I just held on ever tighter, recalling her words to me that night in Zion. You feel this? I'm never letting go. My mind was screaming and I could do nothing to help her, and it tore me apart.  
  
"I can't, not without you." I confessed as an intense pain gripped my chest.  
"Yes you can. You will. I believe you, I always have." She said reassuringly. Her voice was still calm. It eased me to know that she wasn't afraid, but I was torn apart at the mere thought of losing her. Don't take her from me, not again. I was screaming inside, beginning to tremble with grief.  
  
"Trinity. . . Trinity you can't die. You can't, you can't" I said, wishing beyond reason that I could heal her, take away any pain that she was in, to be able to see her face just one more time, to hold her, show her how much I loved her.  
  
"Yes, I can. You brought me back once, but not this time. Do you remember ... on that roof after you caught me ... the last thing I said to you ?" She said.  
  
"You said 'I'm sorry'" I said, recalling the painful memories of when I had nearly lost her that day in the matrix, and how I hacked into her digital form and restarted her heart. I wished more than imaginable that I could do that now, and we could be together forever. I couldn't bear facing life alone, she was my motivation to defeat the machines, to save Zion. All for her, so everything would be safe, and she could finally feel peace. Without her, I felt no reason for me to carry on, to even live.  
  
"I wish I hadn't. That was my last thought. I wished I had one more chance, to say what really mattered, to say how much I loved you, how grateful I was for every moment I was with you. But by the time I knew I'd said what I wanted to, it was too late. But you brought me back. You gave me my wish. One more chance to say what I really wanted to say... Kiss me, once more." She said, and I could feel her growing weaker. "Kiss me" It took all I had not to cry, and I leaned over her and kissed her. I kissed her with more passion, desire, and love than ever before. I wanted to prove to her that my love had to boundary, that she was my world. I felt her grow limp as her grip on my hand relaxed, and I could feel all the muscles in her face relax.  
  
It was in that moment that reality hit me, and I became irrational. I couldn't think. I wished that I had been killed in the crash as well. I threw myself over her body and cried, for the first time for as long as I can remember I wept. I held her desperately, hoping that she would just lift her arms and comfort me. I don't know how long I was lying there, but I finally forced myself to sit up.  
  
"Neo you have to do this." I said to myself. "She died helping you get this far, you can't give up, don't let everything be in vain." I said as I remained on my knees. I bent over her once more and placed a final kiss on her forehead and moved back, knowing what I had to do, and it pained me to do it.  
  
When I was plugged into the matrix and stood face to face with Smith I charged him with one thought in mind.  
  
This is for you Trinity, you believed in me I won't let you down. I love you.  
  
Review please! It's not that good so be gentle ^.- 


	2. Trinity's POV

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR MATRIX REVOLUTIONS AND RELOADED!!  
  
This time it's from Trinity's POV after the crash of the Logos.  
  
I stared at the sky, for the first time in my life, my worries momentarily forgotten. I wish so much that Neo could see what I was seeing, the thought of him blind was killing me inside to know that I would never be able to stare into his beautiful eyes again. After several seconds I realized that the ship had no power and we were descending fast.  
"Pump the igniter, the ship will start." He said. I pumped the igniter, my heart beating wildly as I began to continue the motion more frantically, as fear began to grip me. "Again, slowly. Now!" He said. I did as told and the ship regained power and I gripped the steering, pulling down in an attempt to rise back up and turned sharply to avoid the structure that was before us, but it was too late.  
The impact thrusted me foreword, but was immediately thrown back as an intense pain like no other gripped my abdomen, my arm and one of my legs. I was pinned to the ground and I looked up to see the long metal rods that were impaled into my body. I heard Neo's voice frantically calling my name and I took a deep breath and responded, struggling to keep my voice steady.  
"I'm here"  
"Where?" He asked. I watched him as he blindly made his way over to me.  
"Here." I said again. His hand fell upon mind and we held on to each other's hands tightly. I knew that I was going to die, and it tore me apart to think that I would never feel his warm embrace again, but I wasn't afraid to die. Neo had given me everything I could have ever wanted and more, I knew I could die knowing that my life had meaning.  
"We made it." He said.  
"You said we would." I replied, recalling his words to me.  
"It's so beautiful, Trin. Lights everywhere. Like the whole thing was built with light. I wish you could see what I see." He said to me gripping my hand tighter. I merely smiled at him and said  
"You've already shown me so much." I said, wishing I new how to tell him just how much he meant to me.  
"What is it Trinity, what's wrong?" He asked.  
"I can't come with you Neo, I thought that I could but I can't" I took a deep breath and watched as his hand fell upon the metal rod that had pierced my abdomen. His hands moved down it slowly until his fingers met the wound and he retracted.  
"Why? Oh my god, oh no. . . no, no!" He shouted, his voice trembling, and moved his hand to my cheek, and I tilted my face into his cradling hand. I cherished his soft touch upon my skin, knowing deep down it was the last time I would ever feel it. I could feel the pain slowly beginning to ebb, and I knew that my time was limited. I had to tell him how I truly felt. It was my last chance.  
"It's alright, it's time. I've done all that I could do; now you have to do the rest. You have to finish it, you have to save Zion." I said, trying to urge him to end the war, I had all faith in him; I knew that he could do it without me.  
"I can't not without you." He said. It was tearing me apart to see the pain and sorrow in his face, and the trembling in his voice was eating away at me, but I had to remain strong. I had to fight the tears yearning to come, I couldn't make my death harder for him than it already was.  
"Yes you can, you will. I believe it, I always have." I said as my breath began to become shallower.  
"Trinity. . . Trinity you can't die, you can't you can't"  
"Yes, I can. You brought me back once, but not this time. Do you remember ... on that roof after you caught me . . . the last thing I said to you?" I said, recalling that night the agent shot me, and how Neo had brought me back. I remembered that my last words were "I'm sorry", although I wasn't entirely sure what I was apologizing for.  
"You said 'I'm sorry'"  
"I wish I hadn't. That was my last thought. I wished I had one more chance, to say what really mattered, to say how much I loved you, how grateful I was for every moment I was with you. But by the time I knew what I wanted to say what I wanted to, it was too late. But you brought me back. You gave me my wish. One more chance to say what I really wanted to say... Kiss me, once more." I confessed, pouring out my final thoughts, although no words would ever be able to describe just how strong my feelings for him were. My heart was weakening so I asked him to kiss me, it was the first time I had ever asked Neo to kiss me, but I didn't want to die without feeling his lips against mine just one more time. He seemed to hesitate after I had told him everything. "Kiss me." I asked once more, struggling to breath as I clung to life just long enough for him to lean over me and kiss me.  
It was a kiss unlike any other; I used all my remaining strength as Neo kissed me more passionately than ever before, more pure and emotional than anything I had ever felt. I concentrated my final thoughts on just how much I loved him, as all my memories of us flashed through my mind, it took only a few seconds but to me it felt like eternity, but I cherished these finals moments. I soon lost feeling in my body and I could no longer feel Neo's hand upon my cheek, or the firm grip he held upon my hand. I couldn't feel Neo's kiss and I closed my eyes as everything seemed to turn bright.  
Next I knew I was standing beside Neo, I realized that it was over, that I was to pass on. It tore my heart to pieces as he deteriorated into sobs and wept over my body. I knelt down beside him and placed a kiss on his head and ran my fingers though his hair one final time, although I'm sure he couldn't feel it. I placed my lips to his ear and whispered:  
"You can do it Neo, I believe in you. I love you, goodbye." I said before kissing him just above his ear as a bright light enveloped me and I felt at peace.  
  
That's chapter 2 ^.^ please don't be too hard on me, this is my first Matrix fic. Please review!!


	3. Morpheus's POV

Due to numerous update requests I decided to add a new chapter.  This one is Morpheus's reaction to the news about the deaths of Neo and Trinity.  More focus on his reaction to Trin's death since he seemed far closer to her than neo.  And Sci-freak GrodySpork, I do believe that Trinity went to heaven (as did Neo).

            The news hit me harder than any blow I had ever received.  Trinity, the one girl who had grown to be a daughter, who I had grown to love and care for was gone.  I couldn't help but feel that I could have saved her somehow, it was my job to protect her and I was unable to do so.  Neo was gone too, and he had been growing very close to me also.  Despite my strength I find that I can't accept the news.  They both knew that when they were leaving they would not return. I think that subconsciously I knew as well, for Trinity and I shared an almost telepathic connection.

            I had learned how to see through her walls, how to get in.  Although it was not obvious to those around, our bond was as strong as one between a father and his child.  Ever since her freeing from the Matrix she looked up to me, and relied on me for protection.  I admired her, and loved her.  I had seen the growing darkness that had been taking her over as the war ensued, and I prayed each night that her salvation would come.  And it did.  Neo, the man prophesized to end the war was now on our ship.  I realize that the prophecy had more meanings than I realized.  

            A war had been raging not only between the machines and Zion, but inside Trinity as well.  The darkness sweeping over her had caused her to slowly become numb, as she showed little emotion.  I decided it would be better for her not to get involved.    After Neo came I could sense a change in her.  I was able to catch a rare soft smile whenever she saw him.  I didn't realize it until now that he didn't only end the war for Zion, but he ended the war inside Trinity as well.

            I look back on all the memories, good and bad.  After so long I stopped saying that Trinity was "like" a daughter to me, she simply was my daughter.  Although not by blood, but by bonded hearts.  Both of us drew our strength from each other, and she gave me a deeper reason to search so hard for the One.  My solid belief that Neo was the One was so strong because of Trinity's behavior.  She often insisted on watching the code, on watching him.  When he came aboard my ship I could see the change in her almost instantly.  She couldn't help but peer at him whenever he was in the room.  I knew that she would never let anyone so emotionally close to her, especially another man, and that this man had to be the One to work such a miracle on the soldier that I called a daughter.

            She's gone now, my mind can't accept.   Tears escape my eyes, burning my cheeks.  I had not cried since I had been freed from the Matrix, but I had never felt such a deep loss before.  Every member of my crew, lost, gone forever.  My family was gone from me and I was left alone.  When the Ikarus had come back to report the news they refused to tell me much about their deaths.  They couldn't find Neo, but they said Trinity looked so peaceful in death, such a contrast to her normal state.

            _Peaceful_ I thought.  _At least she's at peace._ I tried to comfort myself but to no avail.   Although my mind was screaming, the sobs did not escape my throat; I would not allow them too.  Trinity had always watched over me in the Matrix, though not in such an obvious sense.  The very moment I was in danger she was ready with her guns cocked to destroy anything that posed a threat.  It was Neo who protected us more directly however, especially Trinity.  I had always known that their love would never diminish, and only death could separate them, but I did not know that their departure was so soon.

            My daughter was gone, as was her lover, our savior.  It such a short length of time I had lost everyone dear to me, save one.  Niobe.  I had lost her to Locke, but then she came back to me. She is my lifeline.  She was the one who was first to break the news to me, and ushered the others out of the room so I could allow the tears to flow without shame.  Nothing can describe the pain it feels to lose someone so dear, to lose a child.  I wish now that I had a picture of her, but all I have are memories.  I stand up and brush the tears from my face, regaining my composure as I head out the door to visit my dear daughter in her place of rest

Hmm…. Not that good but review anyways please!


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